Wow! Ecstasy

Submitted by a married teacher

As a teenager I experimented with cannabis, amphetamines and LSD, but it wasn’t until I was in my early twenties that I took my first ecstasy pill. At the time it was still new on the scene and there was a buzz of excitement around this new drug. People were saying all sorts of amazing things about it and me and my friends just had to try one, and it wasn’t long before we all did.

We were students at the time and were all heading to a house party, but stopped off before to play pool at the student bar. I was with my girlfriend at the time who wasn’t into taking drugs, but as we were all going to a party she wanted to come and drink instead. It was in the student bar when I felt the first effects of the Ecstasy. I was at the pool table about to line up my next shot when it hit me like a train. I’ve never felt anything like it since or before. There was a loud thundering noise in my head and everything in my world shook, like a rug being shaken clean. For a few moments I lost the ability to think, it seemed to take all of my mental strength to come up with the question “what the fuck is going on?”. It felt like my entire mind was being blown apart and all I could do to somehow keep it together was to walk around the pool table until my question was answered. The relief came almost instantly when I realized that what the fuck was going on was the ecstasy that I had taken about an hour previously.

It wasn’t long before I was back in control of my senses, but with the welcome addition of the most amazing orgasmic rushes of energy moving up and down my body, and general sense of well-being that had hitherto never been felt by myself before. My friends were also experiencing the delights of their first ecstasy pill, and together we all floated off to the party.

The party was heaving, music was pulsating in each of the many rooms, and people were smiling and enjoying themselves. I felt so great and was walking around with a huge smile on my face. My girlfriend seemed a bit anxious and uptight and so I spent most of the party talking with my girlfriend. We’d been together for about 3 years at the time, and our differences were becoming more apparent. We had both talked about splitting up but neither of us had the courage to make the break. However, the ecstasy had put me in such an open and contented state that I was able to open up and talk truthfully to her about everything I’d been thinking and feeling without any censorship on my part. I was also able to tap into an immense amount of love which I had for her. It felt so great that we ended up going home and making the most beautiful love with each other. The next day, when the ecstasy had worn off, the love was still there as was the openness, albeit to a lesser degree. However, it had been a very powerful tool in helping myself to feel a sense of peace and serenity and openness with others, and also in helping me to communicate sensitive issues with my girlfriend, the fruits of which were long lasting.

I wanted my girlfriend to take ecstasy with me at the next party so we could experience it together, but unfortunately she just wouldn’t. I realized then it’s power in helping individuals to communicate and empathize with each other.

I continued to take ecstasy many times more at different parties and I can honestly say that I’ve never had a bad experience on it. I’ve had countless positive wonderful experiences in which I’ve found myself experiencing joy and love with total strangers, treating each other as the best of friends, intimately and joyfully. I’ve learnt so much about how we as humans want to reach out to each other but feel afraid to do so because of past conditioning. Ecstasy has helped me to physically carry out actions with others that have extended my comfort zones and broaden my understanding of how to relate to myself and others. It has helped me to become a more loving and peaceful being and relate to all types of people.

These days I may take it very occasionally, but it doesn’t have the same impact that it used to. I believe that as I’ve grown into a more caring and compassionate man, that my need to take ecstasy in order to connect with others has almost disappeared. However, there are still occasions when I’m reminded by it to come back into my heart and become present.

In short, ecstasy has been a great teacher for me. It constantly reminds me to be present and in my heart. For that I am so very grateful.